Yeah, I'm a contractor. Not one of the best and not one of the worst. Mostly I have been around since the beginning and I saw a lot of shit happen. Once I was proud of that, you know in a been there done that kind of way. The problem is I've become a liability and believe you me, I know what happens when you become a liability to the people that run things. It's only a matter of time before I disappear or have an accident. Probably I will just disappear. It's no longer important to observe the niceties and hasn't been for years.
They'll want to keep it low key though. I would. I'm not the only loose end out there and it would be smart to take of as many of us as possible before word gets around.
So I'm writing this as my insurance policy and at best it's going to be a weak form of term life. My hope is it will buy me some time and time is what I need the most. The winds of change are blowing and if I can avoid getting blown away I might be able to come out the other side in one piece. I just typed that, looked at it, and told myself "cliche." The problem is cliches, like generalizations, work because they speak the truth. What I write here is the truth and many of the people who will populate it never had enough originality to even qualify as one.
During the low moments,the late at night, strain the ears listening to nothing and everything nights, my heart beat thumping in my chest nights, I know if they want me bad enough nothing will matter. What makes it even more ironic is the only people that could help me would be more than happy to put a bullet in my head. Life is a bitch. It always has been. It will always be one.