The problem was while we were buying all this stuff and refinancing the house every time the interest rate dropped 1% was how unreal it felt to me. It just didn't feel right. I talked to your mom about and she said it was silly. She said, a lot of people said it too, that housing was going to keep going up and the economy was booming.
I couldn't let go of it. So I guess I mentioned it too much. Your mom got real mad and said it was because I grew up poor and didn't know, or appreciate, the good life. Like she knew. Her parents only owned one new car in their life.
I read what I wrote above later and erased some of it. I will work on keeping my bad thoughts about your mom out of this story and stick to the facts. I have lots of bad thoughts these days. I try and and not listen to them but they make sense. Sometimes they are the only thing that makes sense. I am working on my anger issues too. I want to see you again but I am increasingly realizing that isn't going to happen.
I suppose I should let you know that I have started drinking a bit more. I was always pretty good about that when you were a kid but there doesn't seem much point in it anymore. Plus, out here it makes me feel better about being me and my life.
I have also made new friends and they all drink and some do a lot more. I stay away from them. They are crazy. I see it in their eyes. Always watch the eyes kiddo. People can hide bad thoughts behind their face but they always peak out from inside their eyes.