Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Homecoming - Chapter 1b

The problem was while we were buying all this stuff and refinancing the house every time the interest rate dropped 1% was how unreal it felt to me. It just didn't feel right. I talked to your mom about and she said it was silly. She said, a lot of people said it too, that housing was going to keep going up and the economy was booming.

I couldn't let go of it. So I guess I mentioned it too much. Your mom got real mad and said it was because I grew up poor and didn't know, or appreciate, the good life. Like she knew. Her parents only owned one new car in their life.

I read what I wrote above later and erased some of it. I will work on keeping my bad thoughts about your mom out of this story and stick to the facts. I have lots of bad thoughts these days. I try and and not listen to them but they make sense. Sometimes they are the only thing that makes sense. I am working on my anger issues too. I want to see you again but I am increasingly realizing that isn't going to happen.

I suppose I should let you know that I have started drinking a bit more. I was always pretty good about that when you were a kid but there doesn't seem much point in it anymore. Plus, out here it makes me feel better about being me and my life.

I have also made new friends and they all drink and some do a lot more. I stay away from them. They are crazy. I see it in their eyes. Always watch the eyes kiddo. People can hide bad thoughts behind their face but they always peak out from inside their eyes.


  1. Too much use of "I"
    peek not peak

  2. If this thread eveloves into a decent book length maybe you could call it the American Dream, or Chasing the American Dream, something along those lines. I get strange looks from family and colleagues when I mention I don't need more money, live in a small house that is paid for drive "old" cars that are paid for etc.

  3. Not a bad title Matt. I am not writing lately because I am getting two books out the door. I am thinking of shelving this and writing another Gardener story. The man is knocking inside my head and it gets louder every day.