Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Homecoming - Chapter 1b

The problem was while we were buying all this stuff and refinancing the house every time the interest rate dropped 1% was how unreal it felt to me. It just didn't feel right. I talked to your mom about and she said it was silly. She said, a lot of people said it too, that housing was going to keep going up and the economy was booming.

I couldn't let go of it. So I guess I mentioned it too much. Your mom got real mad and said it was because I grew up poor and didn't know, or appreciate, the good life. Like she knew. Her parents only owned one new car in their life.

I read what I wrote above later and erased some of it. I will work on keeping my bad thoughts about your mom out of this story and stick to the facts. I have lots of bad thoughts these days. I try and and not listen to them but they make sense. Sometimes they are the only thing that makes sense. I am working on my anger issues too. I want to see you again but I am increasingly realizing that isn't going to happen.

I suppose I should let you know that I have started drinking a bit more. I was always pretty good about that when you were a kid but there doesn't seem much point in it anymore. Plus, out here it makes me feel better about being me and my life.

I have also made new friends and they all drink and some do a lot more. I stay away from them. They are crazy. I see it in their eyes. Always watch the eyes kiddo. People can hide bad thoughts behind their face but they always peak out from inside their eyes.

3 comments:

  1. Too much use of "I"
    peek not peak

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  2. If this thread eveloves into a decent book length maybe you could call it the American Dream, or Chasing the American Dream, something along those lines. I get strange looks from family and colleagues when I mention I don't need more money, live in a small house that is paid for drive "old" cars that are paid for etc.

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  3. Not a bad title Matt. I am not writing lately because I am getting two books out the door. I am thinking of shelving this and writing another Gardener story. The man is knocking inside my head and it gets louder every day.

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